


ad astra

by benzedrine



Category: Harry Potter - J. K. Rowling
Genre: Christmas, Drinking, Fluff and Humor, Inspired by Fanart, M/M, flat earth theories make an appearance, idk i think that maybe needed a mention
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-12-23
Updated: 2017-12-23
Packaged: 2019-02-18 02:12:38
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 851
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13090245
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/benzedrine/pseuds/benzedrine
Summary: Of all the things Harry was expecting to happen, Draco and Ron banding together against Hermione to defend the Wizarding world's flawed science was not one of them.Alternatively, pureblood wizards never got the memo that the Earth is round. Hermione's aggravated and Harry's amused.





	ad astra

**Author's Note:**

> hello! i haven't really been able to write much since that weird thing i most recently posted that ?? for some reason people liked but anyways last week i saw [this super cool art](https://jostaart.tumblr.com/post/165703462900) by jostaart on tumblr and i've been #inspired by the whole concept of said art (liberties have been taken tho bc i was trying to mash 2 ideas into one).
> 
> i really struggled with this because i normally, even with oneshots, try and have some sort of conflict resolution but this was more of a like... stretchy conversation? the imperfect cadence of writing? (i'm writing this summary drunk im so sorry) so, this fic is basically the demon child of inspiration from someone else's amazing work and also seasonal Hints because i'm probably going to end up being too lazy to write a proper christmas fic. moving on, the title's one of my favourite latin phrases and means to the stars - hope you enjoy reading this!
> 
> (also sry for how lazy this whole thing is i really, really wanted to write it but also kept getting side-tracked and lost w what i wanted to do and just. gave up here. i might add more soon, but this is all my brain's been able to come up with this week so ! also also i have since been informed that i made a mistake w one of the things i wrote but can i jus ask y'all to take this nonsense as gospel bc i haven't read the hp books properly since i was like 10 and its terrible but i'm still doing this writing nonsense for the hell of it lol anyways allow me lol ty)

“I can’t believe this is all it took for the two of them to start getting along; I honestly thought it would require a lot more alcohol and possibly some very subtle charms being sent their way,” Harry said, looking on in wonder as his best friend and boyfriend somehow were managing to maintain a civil conversation.

“Don’t get me wrong, I’m glad of it, but really? Bonding over their shared refusal to let go of flawed wizarding theories of the shape of the Earth? It does seem a little farfetched to me and also highly disappointing – I really did think that Draco was smarter than this.”

Draco, having caught the end of Hermione’s reply, turned back towards the two of them indignantly, “I’ll have you know, Granger, that there are many highly respected magic historians who believe that the muggles are unable to be trusted in matters such as these, as their instruments of measuring and observing things that are so far away is truly far more susceptible to errors than wizarding methods. Additionally, I have been told many times that I am _almost_ as smart as you are, so ha!”

Harry sniggered into his pint as he watched his friend try not to show how exasperated she was. Of all the things Harry had been expecting to happen tonight, Draco and Ron banding together against Hermione to defend the Wizarding world's flawed science was not one of them.

He and Draco had gone to Ron and Hermione’s West London flat for a sort of pre-Christmas/please-meet-my-boyfriend-even-though-he’s-someone-you’ve-known-for-years-and-been-casual-acquaintances-with-for-months dinner, and somehow the conversation had taken a turn when Hermione decided to bring up the fact that there had been a resurgence of muggle believers in the flat earth theory. What _she_ hadn’t been expecting was for her and Harry’s boyfriends to both be staunch believers in said theory as, apparently, wizarding astronomy hadn’t progressed much over time.

She decided a second bottle of wine was much needed.

*

“This counts as getting on, right?” Harry asked.

“Loath as I am to say it, I think it does,” Hermione replied, looking on at Draco and Ron chatting animatedly about ‘muggle nonsense’ and ‘fake science’ and ‘manipulated data’.

*

“So you’re saying that wizards don’t have Christmas crackers, but they do have extensive theories as to why the Earth is flat? Is that honestly what you’re telling me right now?” Hermione’s thick hair had become even wilder in appearance after the sheer amount of times she had been running her hands through it in exasperation.

“Well, yes, but that’s different! Christmas crackers serve no purpose! They’re dangerous! Muggle children probably lose eyes and teeth and all sorts from these ridiculous contraptions. No one was ever hurt by the Earth being flat.” Ron replied.

“You know, there was this muggle a few years back, Aristotle, I think was his name? His theories supported wizards’ at the time; in fact some magic historians even suggest that he helped to develop the widely accepted theories held by wizards about the shape of the earth. He was really quite fascinating, you know. For a muggle, of course.”

“But,” Hermione spluttered, “He lived over two thousand years ago! His theories have been refuted quite extensively by renowned muggle scientists! They didn’t even have telescopes in his time! He was better at philosophy!”

“That may be, Granger, but until you can take me and Ronald, here, up into space and prove that there’s a curvature to the Earth, we’re going to have to say she’s flat,” Draco cut in, his tone entirely too smug and bordering on reminiscent of his younger self.

Hermione reached for a third bottle of wine.

*

Harry was slurring his words now; somehow one of the perks of being the saviour of the wizarding world was not a high tolerance for alcohol.

“So, if the earth is flat, allegedly, does that mean other planets like, I don’t know, Mars or Venus or whatever are also flat?”

He thought he heard Hermione mutter under her breath ‘not you too’, but then Draco was replying, a fond smile on his face as he said, “No, babe, unlike the Earth, other planets have been observed to be round.”

“I give up!” Hermione shouted. “This is too much; there is more than enough scientific evidence that the Earth is round, and so are other planets observable in this solar system! Merlin’s beard, I really can’t believe that you pureblood wizards have made it this long relying on inbreeding and flawed science – it’s ridiculous! We’re going to pull our crackers, and eat our Christmas pudding and we are _not_ going to talk about the fucking shape of any fucking planets any more tonight.”

*

Much later, when Harry and Draco were leaving, Hermione thought she heard Draco murmur to Harry a quick thanks for trying to be on his side, and smiled. Despite the differences they had all had over the years, it had been surprisingly nice to see Harry so happy with his new boyfriend, and her own boyfriend getting along with Draco. Even if all of them were wrong about space.

**Author's Note:**

> comments and kudos are always much appreciated! :)


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